Marathon Fears and Goals #1

Happy Wednesday! I hope your day is going well. Mine has been fairly busy so far. Only a half day at work but my new desk got delivered so I might attempt to put it together. Or go clean my car and run last-minute trip errands.

But first, it’s time I talk about the biggest fear and the biggest goal I have for the San Francisco Marathon on Sunday. My biggest fear going into the marathon is…

Not finishing.

Many of my other fears are fears because they make it more likely that I won’t finish. And that is the absolute last thing I want. I’ve been training for this since March. I’ve worked my butt off. I’ve woken up before the sunrise more times than I can count (and the sun rises at like 5:45-6:00 am here in the early summer) and I’ve stretched and foam rolled and strength trained. I didn’t do all of that to not finish the marathon.

That being said, this is the main goal. The A Goal:

Finish.

It doesn’t matter if it takes me 4 hours or 5 hours and 59 minutes (the course limit is 6 hours.) If I can’t run, I’ll walk. If I can’t walk, I’ll crawl. I’m not kidding. I will do anything to reach that finish line.

Here’s the thing about this goal: everything I’ve done, all the training, has been done in the interest of making this goal happen. In a lot of ways, the hardest part has already been done. I don’t think I’ll believe that at mile 24 but I know objectively the training for the marathon is more time-consuming and difficult than the actual race, if only by sheer time spent.

I will run this marathon. I will walk if I need to. I will stop and stretch if my body needs it. I don’t care about my time. I will drink as much water as I can. I will eat for fuel. I will do everything in my power to make it across that finish line.

People say you need to define what success and failure look like for you. For me, success is two-fold. I’ve already succeeded by making it to the starting line. I want to say that trying will be enough for me to feel successful but that would be a lie. My definition of success includes crossing the finish line- unless I am seriously injured or seriously sick and even then, if I can walk on my own, I’m not going to stop.

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